-
On intimacy…
…or what we really do when we do ropes? In our studio, a beginner couple is practicing. Tension exercise. One hour into the class, Alexander tells the student to tie the leg. The student is asking his model, “This tight is ok?” then looks at Alexander and asks him: “You want me to decide, right?” and then thinks and asks some more: “Why is it important that I decide?”. At this point, I want to say something. What do we do when we do ropes? My suspicion is, that we want to have some sort of encounter. To meet each other. How should this go? One way is, we…
-
Own your limits
I feel that the “cancel culture” we have created in our society, our focus on the conflict, on being “wrong”, is a result of us feeling insecure about our own limits. We feel a need to make someone “wrong” so that we can justify our own “no, thank you!”. It seems to me. One of the most powerful learnings I have made in my Sexological Bodywork practice was the skill of claiming my own boundaries without making the others “wrong”. I recall once in my training sessions, I was giving bodywork to a fellow student. After the work, still lying on the mat, they asked me to come down to them…
-
Boundaries and Limits
When we hear “boundaries” or “limits,” perhaps we think of something negative like a “restriction,” or “obstacle”, something that limits our free expression or experience. I recall a conversation I had with a woman who just experienced her first back bend in ropes and was obviously challenged. She literally said: “That’s not me, that’s just my back” and I said, “But my dear, that is you.” This got me thinking about how deeply rooted this perspective is in us. Reaching out for our idea of how we want it to be, we are almost eager to objectify ourselves. I offer another perspective, borrowed from nature. Imagine river banks holding deep…